I dont know why

I feel like this.
Maureen texted me asking me to come to the camp out
I was really excited, I could meet new people, and talk, go on the zip line, ride ATV's.
but then 4:00 comes around and I have no ride.
Maureen being a good friend, says she can give me a ride.
but
something happened
between 2-4
probably something to do with that boy.
I just cant pin point it.
I feel really selfish, she wanted me to come because theres going to be no one else. but I always do things for other people, and I just want to stay in my clean room and be depressed, for the first time all summer.
I just want to curl up next to a imaginary him
and
maybe
just
maybe
I'll wake up and he'll be there.